… the first time I’ve written anything about losing my mom since she died, and part of it was that I just could not bring myself to ascribe any “meaning” to the awful, pointless bullshit that was losing the person I loved most in the world way before her time. It felt too much like a kind of turning away from it myself. But to the extent that I’ve come to feel that losing her ties into anything bigger, it’s the way that it ties me to everybody else I meet.
Hi Lily, thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. I lost my baby girl Poppy 8 months ago to stillbirth. She lost her heartbeat a few days before I went in to labor and we didn’t know it until we got to the hospital to give birth. I know exactly what you mean when you write about “connecting to the pain in others” as I am experiencing the worst grief and pain of my life thus far. I have a deep need to connect with other people’s pain — it makes mine feel less scary and less consuming. It opens my heart when I want to shut down. I feel your pain and also your joy for life and for loving.